I will never give u up.

♥ Thursday, December 18, 2008

Hmmmm.....today was good...i think ><...hahax...haiz...the only thing missing now is my darling =(!!!!!she went of 2 days ago and she coming 24 dec..wow...9 days!!!ah..cant survive >.<..wat to do???haiz...miss her loads already!!!geez...went shopping today and i got myself a new hobby...buidling those gundams ><..jus bot two of them..but the small ones...u noe...im so missing os much that i kinda...called her name to sum other girl O_O..damn was so damn emberassing!!!i mistook her cos she look so much like my darling..the way she dressed and all...her hair..everyhting...the onli thing we stood out to show it wasnt my darling is well...she was taller...kinda...1.7???yeah..abt there...but still i mistook her for mine...haiz...everytime o look at my fone i will always view her pics and her number..tinking hw is she...i really hope she's enjoying herself..its so cold in shanghai nw...least i gt to talk to my jie today..she kinda did the trick n cheered me up..well a lil...nw im jus wating for her return to singapore...wish can see her on 24 dec..as well as mass too...wanna spend time wif her..tink thats it...better go do my gundams...try blog tomorow.

Labels: kinda sad now

♥ Thursday, December 11, 2008

Hey people...back again ><...well today wasnt so bad =)...woke up early mornign to call her .<..hahax..she sounded so s so cute..when she is sleepy ><...hahax..love her for that..chat wif her for awhile..then asked her to sleep...so did i..hahax..guess i feel asleep..ahhax...but ya...was worth it ><...woke up later n all..watched my chinese shows as usual..hahax...tehn well...studied studied...then play audi!!!hahax..as suual zun zun..she online again ><..ahhax...unbelivable huh?hahax...well..then fo cos played wif he..ahhax...missed her so much le ahahx..then as usual we had our all kinds of chats form sweet chats to jus pure ya...hahax...ahhax..not much to type here today..lol..kinda broing already..this hols was kinda..lame la..ps2 spoilt also..wat am i suppose to do???cant play FFx or FFX-2..tahts damn sad man...more over..i lost some fun already..no ps2..jus left my phone...my t.v n com
Oh wells..cant help it right??hahax...but yup yup...not sure whats on tomorow..guess its gonna be boring again ><...haiz...a few more days left...if she's reading this now she should noe wat i mean...hahax...but ya..anywyas..thnk thats all for now ><..hahax...try to blog tomorrow >

Labels: ahhax smiles smiles

♥ Monday, December 8, 2008

Heys...wow...been long since i blogged huh?What can i say???not really cos i no mood..more off...how i say...ya basically...not good days actually...sure there were times when i had loads of fun and a good day..but...this few days???not soo good...haiz...i really hate myself sia....cant i make things right for once???today...wasnt so bad actually...called my darling in the morning....great...but being over concern...i asked if she was alright..then it happened...i opened my big mouth n said somehting which of cos..i dun tink i should put it here since she still mad at me...that ticked her off...really...whats worse??i caused spite to holly too...i mean ya...cant i jus shut up n dun do anythign worng for once??everything is like going wrong seriously....last week worst the worst so far...in 7 days...i fot with her...for ike wat???3 consecutive days...i mean..ya...and all it was about???as usual...my tendency of going agianst the one i so very love..i cant say its a guy thing...sure it is..to u noe...do a lil more then wat ur lover wants but..i guess i overdid it...my mood went hey-wire...i even spoke in the way i promised myself never to speak her...i spoke in a ery very serious but...hurtful tone..i dont know..if its cos..of my music...u noe the syaing of 'music is food for ur soul???yeah...my love for metal went to a new drive...a sexual but yet brutal metal...and i tot my mind was corrupted enuf..maybe i should take break from metal...maybe???it may be the cause of why i lost my temper so easily..i love her so very much...but my emotions drives me...haiz...called her like..half an hour ago..she's still mad at me...i dun blame her..she's got a guy..who lover her very very much...but can gte on a girls nerves u noe???she asked if i could ever change...i would love to..but it takes time ryt??i really really hope..she can smile n be happy tonight..or at least..tomorow..cos i now i got this habit of calling her in the morning...i noe...bad tme to disturb a grils sleep huh?but thats the only time when i can talk wif her...maybe thats why she so cranky..i guess..i gotta speak nicely n have my patience again tomorow..i really hope she fine..before i go...here's something i want to say to my darling since i cant speak to her now.
To my sweetie:
I am sorry...that i was to much for u..i am sorry..i noe that u love me alot alot..thanks for that..i promise never to abuse that love of urs...i dun wanna see u ever cry again ok sweetie??it hurts me very much...i noe that i am the cos of ur sadness..thats why u noe im trying already...to control myself..its always n has been for ur sake...i cant promise u that i can stop totally no..but i can promise u..that i wll be there for u n be always loyal to you...u can count on that..you have always been the most valuable to me...its always u who drives me on and never gives up on me...i am lucky...no very very lucky to have u...please darling...if u can...form ur bottom of ur heart...forgive ur boyfriend and let it pass..i am not gonna risk our realtionship again...if ur reading this in the night...u hope i have made ur nightto let u sleep tight and soundly and have a good night sweetie.if ur reading this in the morning...i hope i had made ur morning to enjoy ur day.basically...i am sorry for my behaviour and i really hope we alrgiht sweetie.i love u very much.

alrights thats all for today.

♥ Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hey people.....today wasnt so bad...haiz...lets see..woke up kinda early..had to ICA..lol...had to make passport to go for my thailand trip nxt monday...lol OMG!!im gonna miss her la...zzz...haiz...least i get to talk to her :).ahhax..but she wasnt fine..i cld tell..i hope that she is...hmmm...then well..ate ice cream...then went home...then used com...geez...i miss her la....:(...how i wish she was here man...geez...anyways...today is well..ok i guess...talked wif frens on9 agian...wated for audi to be done..lol..but still not yet...haiz...then comes to now...i read her nick for msn...she got brain cancer???i mean..is she joking???if she sint..then..im shock...but i still wun leave her...if she did lose her memory...i will remind her...i will...no matter wat happens..i will stick with her..even if it means...doing smthing...which i have to give up...but i am willing t do it...cos i will never leave her...i wun..i cant..i musnt...i love her to much...i realised that...loving her is like...the gothic romance poem i wrote abt...it seems so similar..if my darling has an illness i will take care of her..even if it means breaking the promise i made to my parents..now darling if ur reading this..plz...dun blame urself..cos i still love u..dun do anything stupid ok???jus love me as u do n i will do the rest :).....hmms..thats all for now..cant write so much now...zzz...my bro is here.so...yupz..will msg her later bah..zzz...

♥ Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I am so not myself today...jesus...what the hell's wrong with me???everything's going wrong agian...EVERYTHING....why is this happening to me???was it wat i did in the past,present???y aint god just giving me a chance to let me live my life as a normal person???cant he jus let me off once wif a normal day??to be honest..i wann die..seriously..but i got only one person who makes me live..but yet..i do this to her...everyone says im cheating on her....why???is it cos they dun understand wat i am???who i am??what i did so many years ago that even if someone stabs me..i'll just laugh in their face n kill them???y cant i just tell her the truth???the truth of wat i am...???why???its so hard to tell her...to tell her that her boyfren has smthing..smhting..jus smthing that he even is afraid of..smthing that will wrecj MY life...n my lover's life..i will saty on wif her..i dun care...even of ots means she has to noe..i lover her still...but i tink even she tinks that im cheating on her...why is god being so unfair???y am i the only kid in sg who gets this???i mean...why???even joann's sister is suay to be born on her month but look..she aint getting anything..well as i...born on saint smtings b'dae..i hold the cross of god n the up turned one of him...why m i stuck in between???now my darling has to suffer for it..she loves me so much but yet...i...he...god...am doing this to her...i promised her i will change..cant i just change for her sake???i am willing to die for her...n she noes that...i tink...im not going to care anymore..like wat she said on her blog...she wants to the risk wof me..then i will let it all go...in this wolrd..no one noes me anymore..but i will let joann noe me...for we have only one life in this world..i wont want to spoil it..i cant change the lifes of other ppl or their tots of me..but i will let them noe..that i aint noe flirt,cheater or anything which will hurt my darling..my commitment has been set...if everything is going well...everyone will hate me..n im fine wif that..jus as long as joann noes that i still love her..

♥ Monday, October 27, 2008

Hey ppl...long time nvr blog le...OMG...there's smthing worng wif my me o.o
Y am i using this???gah...im jus being stupid...miss her so much already :(...haiz/....well least get to talk to her for awhile on msn :D...hahax...jus came back from k like ystd..zzz..miss camp but was glad to be home!!!!got my t.v,ps2,frens....and all..hahax...but i kinda miss camp..my CIs,the soft but yet wet pulau ubin soil,the PTs...ah...the shiokness of doing bridge on the foyer!!!hahax...lemme see...got piared wif rabi!!!no!!!!!but nvm..was kindsa fun aniwaes..well bak to today...wok up at 11 plus cos well...sum1 msged me to say we had to talk..so i called her...n we did talk...n yeah after that msged my sweetie xp..hehex...guess i kinda used to calling her sweetie liao..lol...but yupz..after that went on9 msn...talk wif ayeshah...jeannie,shanice,meiyin..etc..shant name all..since i scared my darling see this blog entry xp!To my darling:'i love u still okay!!!u are always the one whom i love sweetie :D'.hahax...then play audi for awhile..uh-oh...forgot..my darling will get jealous since i play audi but nvm :p..hehex...least her acc is fine..since i lazy do license myt as well help her bah..lol...time to be a gd audi bf too :p..hahax..then i went to kallang..breakdanced wif adi n others...came back kinda late...then ate.....MY CUTE NEPHEW came over!!!hahax...then well pplayed soccer..like omg...hw un-troy ryt?lol but had to since its sum mum ask frens daughter over to play..n wat did the biatch ask to play???soccer...mean like wth la...tot she ask at least like smthing girlsih like er...i do her nails or smhting...lol.but at least i broke sweat..lol..but yeah...jess n i were good..lol...but i got to say..sg girls nw getting better in soccer already..like..wah..but yeah..wat to expect from her???a crazy duaghter of bitch..hahax..then well...as usual look true my phots n notes form my darling but being such a nosy...jess saw to..UGH!but yeah at least she say my darling vry pretty xp..hehex...cos its so true...geez y cnat she accpet that she is pretty???lol..y mus girls say that they not pretty lei..haiz..she tryingt o make me say that she is to noe that i still love her/??lol...but i dun mind saying though cos ITS THE TRUTH!!!!hahax...well then came to now lor..msning...blogging..then well yeah wished my darling good nyt!!hahax...k ah better end here..try blog tml then :)
tctc ppl

Labels: miss u so :(

♥ Monday, October 13, 2008

fck la.....haiz....feel so crappy now...oh..mroning ppl...haiz...as u can see this past few days hasnt been fine..i miss my darling so much..yet...i dont noe wats wrong wif me...jus msg her jus now that will call her at 11.30 n onwards..parents jus left...at least now i am alone...finally can listen to my metal songs again..i so need it...my heart feels so terrible now..haiz...yesterday was kinda of a bad day....some1...had to spoil my day by saying..by in a way blaming me..for all the things that i have done..i admit that its my fault...but y cant the person jus give it up start a new like we jus met???i had been so persistent...but giving her frank attitude...seems impossible for us...haiz...even being frens again is bullshit to her...she siad i hurt her..but wats she doing to me now is even worse..i guess wat she said is true...but i have change..cant she see that?wait i forgot...she ignored me for over dunno how many months after since i got together wif my sweet girlfriend...now all i can live on is my sweet girlfriend..haiz..i cant wait any longer..so need call joann now :(...onli she can make me feel better..so need hug her sia...plus since my mind is in such swirl i forgot if tomorow got sch or not...haiz...if have i wan meet my darling sia..miss her soooo much :p!!!!well im trying to be happy now..partibhan on9 lol...he asking for guitarist :p...lol

try blog again later...lol...
tctc ppl

Labels: nothing to add here