♥ Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Hey people.....today wasnt so bad...haiz...lets see..woke up kinda early..had to ICA..lol...had to make passport to go for my thailand trip nxt monday...lol OMG!!im gonna miss her la...zzz...haiz...least i get to talk to her :).ahhax..but she wasnt fine..i cld tell..i hope that she is...hmmm...then well..ate ice cream...then went home...then used com...geez...i miss her la....:(...how i wish she was here man...geez...anyways...today is well..ok i guess...talked wif frens on9 agian...wated for audi to be done..lol..but still not yet...haiz...then comes to now...i read her nick for msn...she got brain cancer???i mean..is she joking???if she sint..then..im shock...but i still wun leave her...if she did lose her memory...i will remind her...i will...no matter wat happens..i will stick with her..even if it means...doing smthing...which i have to give up...but i am willing t do it...cos i will never leave her...i wun..i cant..i musnt...i love her to much...i realised that...loving her is like...the gothic romance poem i wrote abt...it seems so similar..if my darling has an illness i will take care of her..even if it means breaking the promise i made to my parents..now darling if ur reading this..plz...dun blame urself..cos i still love u..dun do anything stupid ok???jus love me as u do n i will do the rest :).....hmms..thats all for now..cant write so much now...zzz...my bro is here.so...yupz..will msg her later bah..zzz...
♥ Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I am so not myself today...jesus...what the hell's wrong with me???everything's going wrong agian...EVERYTHING....why is this happening to me???was it wat i did in the past,present???y aint god just giving me a chance to let me live my life as a normal person???cant he jus let me off once wif a normal day??to be honest..i wann die..seriously..but i got only one person who makes me live..but yet..i do this to her...everyone says im cheating on her....why???is it cos they dun understand wat i am???who i am??what i did so many years ago that even if someone stabs me..i'll just laugh in their face n kill them???y cant i just tell her the truth???the truth of wat i am...???why???its so hard to tell her...to tell her that her boyfren has smthing..smhting..jus smthing that he even is afraid of..smthing that will wrecj MY life...n my lover's life..i will saty on wif her..i dun care...even of ots means she has to noe..i lover her still...but i tink even she tinks that im cheating on her...why is god being so unfair???y am i the only kid in sg who gets this???i mean...why???even joann's sister is suay to be born on her month but look..she aint getting anything..well as i...born on saint smtings b'dae..i hold the cross of god n the up turned one of him...why m i stuck in between???now my darling has to suffer for it..she loves me so much but yet...i...he...god...am doing this to her...i promised her i will change..cant i just change for her sake???i am willing to die for her...n she noes that...i tink...im not going to care anymore..like wat she said on her blog...she wants to the risk wof me..then i will let it all go...in this wolrd..no one noes me anymore..but i will let joann noe me...for we have only one life in this world..i wont want to spoil it..i cant change the lifes of other ppl or their tots of me..but i will let them noe..that i aint noe flirt,cheater or anything which will hurt my darling..my commitment has been set...if everything is going well...everyone will hate me..n im fine wif that..jus as long as joann noes that i still love her..
♥ Monday, October 27, 2008
Hey ppl...long time nvr blog le...OMG...there's smthing worng wif my me o.oY am i using this???gah...im jus being stupid...miss her so much already :(...haiz/....well least get to talk to her for awhile on msn :D...hahax...jus came back from k like ystd..zzz..miss camp but was glad to be home!!!!got my t.v,ps2,frens....and all..hahax...but i kinda miss camp..my CIs,the soft but yet wet pulau ubin soil,the PTs...ah...the shiokness of doing bridge on the foyer!!!hahax...lemme see...got piared wif rabi!!!no!!!!!but nvm..was kindsa fun aniwaes..well bak to today...wok up at 11 plus cos well...sum1 msged me to say we had to talk..so i called her...n we did talk...n yeah after that msged my sweetie xp..hehex...guess i kinda used to calling her sweetie liao..lol...but yupz..after that went on9 msn...talk wif ayeshah...jeannie,shanice,meiyin..etc..shant name all..since i scared my darling see this blog entry xp!To my darling:'i love u still okay!!!u are always the one whom i love sweetie :D'.hahax...then play audi for awhile..uh-oh...forgot..my darling will get jealous since i play audi but nvm :p..hehex...least her acc is fine..since i lazy do license myt as well help her bah..lol...time to be a gd audi bf too :p..hahax..then i went to kallang..breakdanced wif adi n others...came back kinda late...then ate.....MY CUTE NEPHEW came over!!!hahax...then well pplayed soccer..like omg...hw un-troy ryt?lol but had to since its sum mum ask frens daughter over to play..n wat did the biatch ask to play???soccer...mean like wth la...tot she ask at least like smthing girlsih like er...i do her nails or smhting...lol.but at least i broke sweat..lol..but yeah...jess n i were good..lol...but i got to say..sg girls nw getting better in soccer already..like..wah..but yeah..wat to expect from her???a crazy duaghter of bitch..hahax..then well...as usual look true my phots n notes form my darling but being such a nosy...jess saw to..UGH!but yeah at least she say my darling vry pretty xp..hehex...cos its so true...geez y cnat she accpet that she is pretty???lol..y mus girls say that they not pretty lei..haiz..she tryingt o make me say that she is to noe that i still love her/??lol...but i dun mind saying though cos ITS THE TRUTH!!!!hahax...well then came to now lor..msning...blogging..then well yeah wished my darling good nyt!!hahax...k ah better end here..try blog tml then :)tctc pplLabels: miss u so :(
♥ Monday, October 13, 2008
fck la.....haiz....feel so crappy now...oh..mroning ppl...haiz...as u can see this past few days hasnt been fine..i miss my darling so much..yet...i dont noe wats wrong wif me...jus msg her jus now that will call her at 11.30 n onwards..parents jus left...at least now i am alone...finally can listen to my metal songs again..i so need it...my heart feels so terrible now..haiz...yesterday was kinda of a bad day....some1...had to spoil my day by saying..by in a way blaming me..for all the things that i have done..i admit that its my fault...but y cant the person jus give it up start a new like we jus met???i had been so persistent...but giving her frank attitude...seems impossible for us...haiz...even being frens again is bullshit to her...she siad i hurt her..but wats she doing to me now is even worse..i guess wat she said is true...but i have change..cant she see that?wait i forgot...she ignored me for over dunno how many months after since i got together wif my sweet girlfriend...now all i can live on is my sweet girlfriend..haiz..i cant wait any longer..so need call joann now :(...onli she can make me feel better..so need hug her sia...plus since my mind is in such swirl i forgot if tomorow got sch or not...haiz...if have i wan meet my darling sia..miss her soooo much :p!!!!well im trying to be happy now..partibhan on9 lol...he asking for guitarist :p...lol
try blog again later...lol...
tctc pplLabels: nothing to add here
♥ Saturday, October 4, 2008
morning people...been quite long since i blogged huh???well its cos didnt get to use the com much..anyways life has been suckish..as usual..now exams are coming on and i just feel like dying...k fine not die..but just get out of this dimension...many things happened..alot actually...summary so far...10% i was happy...90% i feel like just running away..not literally but ya..u get what i mean...this monday is my chem paper and guess what???i aint meeting her on monday cos i wake up late >.<...oh wells..i dont know why but i have this feeling that she hates me now..i mean...like..ya...what can i do??i messaged her last night n no reply..obviously she made me worry but hey..i cant change her right?i feel like telling her something i wanted to last night but i just couldnt..i didnt want her to know.....and i ask myself..am i doing the right thing???i still love her and all..but there is just something i want to tell her..i dont noe if its good or bad to her..but all i noe is..if i still keep this inside....it makes me feel so damned screwed..should i message her today???i dont know...if she really is angry at me...what can i do???if i call..she may mistake it thats my mum and start messaging hate messages when it was actually me trying to call her....now i feel so empty inside..i am suppose to go out today but i just dun feel like it...cos i noe if i do..i give that same old face of discontent and everyone will ask whats wrong and i'll start crying again...i love her so much but there is a price to pay..but i am willing to take it...but i guess now its too much to bear...in no time i'll break...if i dun..it shows i got some heart made of steel or something...and my love is really everlasting..i shall put myself to the test i guess...i am going to strive..even if she hates me now..i will love her always..Labels: confused