♥ Saturday, October 4, 2008
morning people...been quite long since i blogged huh???well its cos didnt get to use the com much..anyways life has been suckish..as usual..now exams are coming on and i just feel like dying...k fine not die..but just get out of this dimension...many things happened..alot actually...summary so far...10% i was happy...90% i feel like just running away..not literally but ya..u get what i mean...this monday is my chem paper and guess what???i aint meeting her on monday cos i wake up late >.<...oh wells..i dont know why but i have this feeling that she hates me now..i mean...like..ya...what can i do??i messaged her last night n no reply..obviously she made me worry but hey..i cant change her right?i feel like telling her something i wanted to last night but i just couldnt..i didnt want her to know.....and i ask myself..am i doing the right thing???i still love her and all..but there is just something i want to tell her..i dont noe if its good or bad to her..but all i noe is..if i still keep this inside....it makes me feel so damned screwed..should i message her today???i dont know...if she really is angry at me...what can i do???if i call..she may mistake it thats my mum and start messaging hate messages when it was actually me trying to call her....now i feel so empty inside..i am suppose to go out today but i just dun feel like it...cos i noe if i do..i give that same old face of discontent and everyone will ask whats wrong and i'll start crying again...i love her so much but there is a price to pay..but i am willing to take it...but i guess now its too much to bear...in no time i'll break...if i dun..it shows i got some heart made of steel or something...and my love is really everlasting..i shall put myself to the test i guess...i am going to strive..even if she hates me now..i will love her always..Labels: confused