♥ Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I am so not myself today...jesus...what the hell's wrong with me???everything's going wrong agian...EVERYTHING....why is this happening to me???was it wat i did in the past,present???y aint god just giving me a chance to let me live my life as a normal person???cant he jus let me off once wif a normal day??to be honest..i wann die..seriously..but i got only one person who makes me live..but yet..i do this to her...everyone says im cheating on her....why???is it cos they dun understand wat i am???who i am??what i did so many years ago that even if someone stabs me..i'll just laugh in their face n kill them???y cant i just tell her the truth???the truth of wat i am...???why???its so hard to tell her...to tell her that her boyfren has smthing..smhting..jus smthing that he even is afraid of..smthing that will wrecj MY life...n my lover's life..i will saty on wif her..i dun care...even of ots means she has to noe..i lover her still...but i tink even she tinks that im cheating on her...why is god being so unfair???y am i the only kid in sg who gets this???i mean...why???even joann's sister is suay to be born on her month but look..she aint getting anything..well as i...born on saint smtings b'dae..i hold the cross of god n the up turned one of him...why m i stuck in between???now my darling has to suffer for it..she loves me so much but yet...i...he...god...am doing this to her...i promised her i will change..cant i just change for her sake???i am willing to die for her...n she noes that...i tink...im not going to care anymore..like wat she said on her blog...she wants to the risk wof me..then i will let it all go...in this wolrd..no one noes me anymore..but i will let joann noe me...for we have only one life in this world..i wont want to spoil it..i cant change the lifes of other ppl or their tots of me..but i will let them noe..that i aint noe flirt,cheater or anything which will hurt my darling..my commitment has been set...if everything is going well...everyone will hate me..n im fine wif that..jus as long as joann noes that i still love her..