♥ Monday, December 8, 2008
Heys...wow...been long since i blogged huh?What can i say???not really cos i no mood..more off...how i say...ya basically...not good days actually...sure there were times when i had loads of fun and a good day..but...this few days???not soo good...haiz...i really hate myself sia....cant i make things right for once???today...wasnt so bad actually...called my darling in the morning....great...but being over concern...i asked if she was alright..then it happened...i opened my big mouth n said somehting which of cos..i dun tink i should put it here since she still mad at me...that ticked her off...really...whats worse??i caused spite to holly too...i mean ya...cant i jus shut up n dun do anythign worng for once??everything is like going wrong seriously....last week worst the worst so far...in 7 days...i fot with her...for ike wat???3 consecutive days...i mean..ya...and all it was about???as usual...my tendency of going agianst the one i so very love..i cant say its a guy thing...sure it is..to u noe...do a lil more then wat ur lover wants but..i guess i overdid it...my mood went hey-wire...i even spoke in the way i promised myself never to speak her...i spoke in a ery very serious but...hurtful tone..i dont know..if its cos..of my music...u noe the syaing of 'music is food for ur soul???yeah...my love for metal went to a new drive...a sexual but yet brutal metal...and i tot my mind was corrupted enuf..maybe i should take break from metal...maybe???it may be the cause of why i lost my temper so easily..i love her so very much...but my emotions drives me...haiz...called her like..half an hour ago..she's still mad at me...i dun blame her..she's got a guy..who lover her very very much...but can gte on a girls nerves u noe???she asked if i could ever change...i would love to..but it takes time ryt??i really really hope..she can smile n be happy tonight..or at least..tomorow..cos i now i got this habit of calling her in the morning...i noe...bad tme to disturb a grils sleep huh?but thats the only time when i can talk wif her...maybe thats why she so cranky..i guess..i gotta speak nicely n have my patience again tomorow..i really hope she fine..before i go...here's something i want to say to my darling since i cant speak to her now.To my sweetie:I am sorry...that i was to much for u..i am sorry..i noe that u love me alot alot..thanks for that..i promise never to abuse that love of urs...i dun wanna see u ever cry again ok sweetie??it hurts me very much...i noe that i am the cos of ur sadness..thats why u noe im trying already...to control myself..its always n has been for ur sake...i cant promise u that i can stop totally no..but i can promise u..that i wll be there for u n be always loyal to you...u can count on that..you have always been the most valuable to me...its always u who drives me on and never gives up on me...i am lucky...no very very lucky to have u...please darling...if u can...form ur bottom of ur heart...forgive ur boyfriend and let it pass..i am not gonna risk our realtionship again...if ur reading this in the night...u hope i have made ur nightto let u sleep tight and soundly and have a good night sweetie.if ur reading this in the morning...i hope i had made ur morning to enjoy ur day.basically...i am sorry for my behaviour and i really hope we alrgiht sweetie.i love u very much.alrights thats all for today.